My weekend has been quite an upsetting one. 

I have been engaging in crazy purging, and wasting lots of food. I feel so incredulously guilty, but when I eat the food that I end up wasting, I get on a high that makes it so addictive. From Nutella PB sandwiches, crackers, chocolate, muffins and cookies, it all has been thrown to waste. Gosh, I feel soooooo bad! 😦 Starting from now, I WILL NO LONGER WASTE FOOD! I must stick to this affirmation!!!

I really need to gain weight and recover from ED! My mother, who is currently away at the moment, is returning this weekend and soon that I will be seeing the doctors at the hospital. My weight is below what it needs to be! And also for me to get out of hospital I have to reach my goal weight of 50 kg minimum!!!! Urgh. It’s hard though because I don’t want to gain weight, face my fear foods, or eat more…..It’s really frustrating….

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