Sorry I have not posted in a while. It is just that so many things have been happening lately and so it has proven to be a real difficulty to make time to write…..There have been an accumulation of assessments and projects due at school, and then there’s my eating disorder. Recently I have been caught many times red-handed in my eating disorder behaviour, such as my mother finding out that I purged the night before, and that I’ve been disposing food behind her back. Also my stupid teacher who knows about my eating issue went and sent an email to my mother today about the time that I escaped from her class to the library because the class was eating crap that I did not want to get involved in….Apparently my mother confided all of this information to him and so he talked to me after school today about it all. Initially I was so angry at my teacher about getting involved in my business like that, but then I realized that feelings of shame and embarrassment took over. For my brother to learn all that about me is so incredibly humiliating and painful. I feel like I can no longer face my family. I am so, so embarrassed. I am so hurt, and so ashamed to be in this family! 

Never have i wanted to disappear on the face of this earth. I want to just die. I am no good to this family at all. All I have and am bringing to my parents and brothers is issues, and I am just a piece of rubbish that wastes their money, time and effort. Honestly I am no good to them at all!!!! They have grown sick of me, I know it. Even they show very little sympathy for me. 

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